Fry Guy

Just when I think things are dying down the man front a guy (fry) pops in and stirs it up. I'll take it from the top. Last Thursday I'm hanging at home minding my own business and a friends invites me down to her bar. I think, sure I'll go for "A" beer. Ha I love how I lie to myself. I go down the ol' spot post up and have a beer. Within moments this creeper ass dude name "Turtle" is like trying to sit on my lap and has introduced himself to me about 3 times. I look over and see this fine young gent sitting at the bar. I immediatley inquire as to who this is. My friend doesnt know but says he's in there all the time. I like his style. So her and I hatch up a plan to move me down to where he is sitting. I sit by him start shooting the shit. First red flag of the evening. He has a black eye. I inquire. He does Jujitsu. Perfectly normal excuse. Next order of business, job situation. He works at a local bar as a cook. Umm kay. Next, age please. He is 24. They keep gettin' younger and I stay the same age. Ugh. Anywho we start drinking heavily and end up closing the bar down. I want to go home but keep playing a phrase in my head that my therapist had told me earlier that day.."just have fun." Sadly she doesnt know how literally I will take this. So I invite my friend and him back to my house. Now, I have to work in the morning at about 8 but at this point in the night, 2 a.m., I really have no concept of what this means. Im thinking that I want to party all night, fuck work, damn the man etc. We get to my house, I'm cracking beers, cracking jokes..its great. Fry guy and I hook up and he stays over, but no bonage. Now I know this may seem totally slutty and out of control, but "I'm having fun." right.

Next morning my alarm goes off at 7 a.m. and I want to die. I realize there is another body sleeping next to me. FUCK. So I pretend to still be asleep. When is he going to leave! I peak over at him and he's just staring at me. AHHH. Red flag number two. Finally he gets a clue and starts to leave. He tells me to take his number down. Im like yeah, sure thing. Then he goes, "Well I have to get to work too, I'm sure its not as intense as your job though," in like the sadest voice ever. Aww fry guy. He's cute and young and knows his place. I think I'll keep him around for a bit.

Boozin' & Losin'

Dont you love living in a small communty. I know I do. Last Sunday night I meet up with a friend who was in town for her birthday. We had pretty much ruined the city by Sunday night and were finishing up drinks at a local bar. I like how I just tried to make that sound sophisticated. The reality was I had been barfing all day from drinking for 48 straight hours, my friend puked in the bathroom at the bar and was taking jager shots when I showed up. We then proceeded to get shit faced. Ok that sounds better. Anyway, so back to getting shitfaced. Her and I were enjoying a shot when this boy that I had hooked up with about 2 years ago showed up. Perfect timing right. So he shows up we start talking and one thing leads to another and he invites me to a "kickback", if you will, on a Sunday night. I have no idea who these people are or where we are going or who is driving, but fuck it. I've had 17 beers and 2 shots, let's do this! We pull up to the house and I'm trashed, he's trahsed, the people that drove us are trashed. We proceed to walk in. I'm carrying an 18 pack, one can already open in hand laughing really loud and acting all flirty with cute boy. Walk in the house..look over to the couch and who should be sitting there? Republicrat. AHHH. I smile and then bee line it for the kitchen. The thing is this. I could care less about this fucking guy. He is a complete and total tool. BUT I do think it is interesting that he never saw me drunk and then I run into him and he sees who I really am....wasted for about 3 days straight, barfed earlier in the day, flirting with some radom ass dude...on a Sunday. So cute boy and I go into the backyard, start like full on making out and Republicrat walks back there. I dont think we were actually kissing when he walked back, but the vibe was out. Republicrat is all "hey whats goin on!" in a totally sarcastic tone. I reply with nothing, then he says "how are things?"..I simply hold up my 18th Bud light of the day and say "things are great!" I dont think he found this amusing, but I sure as hell did. Sorry I can drink and have fun and you can't. You=Boring. The night ended with me and cute boy laying on the deck of some random peoples back yard making out. Classy Ass.