Saturday Night

RANDOM TEXTS:

Coffee Date at 12:32 a.m. "why?"

Fry Guy at 12:55 a.m. " u shall come save me!"

No response.

RANDOM ENCOUNTERS:

A man came up to me and said he knew he had seen me before, considering he looked like the pickup artist, I told him that I doubted it. He then introduced himself as John followed by, "but my friends call me Blaze Malaze." I immediately inquired about the BMX riding gloves he was wearing. He went on about how he had won a few dozen biking competitions in the 80's and then asked me if I wanted to go do coke at his house. I declined.

Let's Give Him a Hand Folks!

I've been loosely dating this man for a month or so. I went over to his house the other night to hang. We start making out and he immediately starts twitching. This has been a reoccurring habit from the get go. Like as soon as I kiss him he starts thrusting his pelvis toward me. On a regular basis I think to myself, "please jack off before I come over." Anywho, so we are kissing and he is thrusting and I stop and am like hey I can't have sex...ya know. He's catches on quickly and continues to kiss me..and pump. I'm laying on top of him on his couch and he's wearing these elastic sweat pants and just like pulls IT out. AND he wasn't wearing any underwear. So there I am laying on top of this guy kissing him and IT is just out in all it's glory. I'm thinking..what does he want me to do with this thing. I am SO not giving him a blow job..I'm too crampy and tired. He does the slick move of moving my hand down to touch it. The entire dialog in my head at this point is something like this.."oh great, I'm on my period and NOW I have to give him a hand job ...I am so terrible at these things...should I just give him a blowjob...why is there so much stuff coming out already..dear lord...what is my life."

I finally give in and start the Handy J. I feel like I am doing a fantastic job and everything is moving along swimmingly. Then my hand starts to get tired and I think to myself, should I switch hands? Then he like reaches down and puts his hand on my hand and basically starts jacking himself off with my hand. This is by far the lowest form of sex I have ever encountered. Cute.

Dear Sir, please jack of next time before I come over and put on some panties. Thank you good day.