December 4, 2010

Crazy Eyes

This shit is getting RIDIC. Quick update, the Jockey and I are no longer. I really don't want to get into it, but is has something to do with my almost near fatal experience with TSS. If you don't know what that means, google it. Furthermore, the last time I saw him we sat on his couch watching Family Guy while I got a contact high. Oh and I forgot to mention watching his puppy and kitty play fight. Totally awesome night!

Next order of business. Crazy eyes. Now I can neither confirm nor deny this nickname. It was given by a friend who says he may have a lazy eye. When I inquired as to how lazy this eye actually was on a scale of 1 to 10, she said, without any hesitation, a strong 7. Thats pretty lazy.

Back story. I've worked with this man (he's pushing 40) a few times now. He's a photographer, an artist, into some rad shit blah blah. Did some makeup for him a few weeks ago and it was great. I do not like to mix business with pleasure, actually I like to mix anything with pleasure, but in this case I don't want to ruin my working relationship with him so I'm ignoring the hardcore flirtation that has been going down between the two of us. Like sloppy cheek kisses hello, arm caressing, etc.

Fast forward to a few nights ago. Go to a bar to watch my friends band play. His band is playing as well. This would normally be an exciting to do, watching a guy thats I'm into play on stage. Total panty dropper. Umm perhaps not in this case. This man is in a spoof band of sorts. He and his band mates dress up in Reno 911 gear and sing covers as they hump the ground and dance around. Hilarious yes, sexy, not so much. Oh and their shorts are tighter than spandex on Precious so testicle visibility is HIGH. They play, I'm watching, it's funny. Toward the end of his set, he jumps off stage comes over and starts to serenade me to a Britney Spears song. How did he know I have a deep fascination with Britt Britt. Maybe the lack of eyesight gives him supernatural mind reading powers. Just a thought. He's singing to me very closely, so close in fact that I can feel his balls on my leg. There may have even have been some grinding going on. WHAT IS HAPPENING. I turn bright red and want to die. For some reason after this performance I am oddly attracted to him. Was is the short shorts? The epic Britney singing abilities, or the large bulge in his pants. I need more information. Further, I did not spot the wandering eye. Maybe he had a talk with it before hand and made it promise to behave itself.

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